I’m including that video not to brag that I was actually there when they filmed this concert in Las Vegas. No, I wouldn’t be so shameless as to drop names like that. My title just reminded me of The Divine Miss M, and I thought I’d drop that in here so that this post wouldn’t be a total waste.

See, I have a confession to make: I have never made a successful divinity. *facepalm*

Ever! It’s true!

This afternoon, I made another attempt. Even as I write this, waiting to see whether the stuff will set or not, I am filled with suspense and maybe anxiety because I don’t feel great about it. However, that’s a great video. Enjoy it. Look at my food pictures. If nothing else, we will have spent a glorious three minutes together, and I’ll never regret it.

I started with this divinity recipe from Allrecipes. If you’re new, allow me to explain now that I almost never go exactly by the recipe, which might be why I have so many “interesting” results.

Anyhoo… As I was getting out my ingredients, I saw something in my cabinet and had a brilliant idea:

I rarely get to use this mortar and pestle I purchased for a chocolate class that I taught. It’s useful AND cathartic for those high-stress days.

Mmmmmmacerated M&Ms!

I laid them all out with the intent of creating a coating around the log o' divinity.

Moments later, I realized that I’d be pouring near-scalding sugar onto this colorful wreck, and that resultant plastic melting could occur. So I promptly created a wax paper set-up similar to the above, but lessening the likelihood of meltage.

And I started on the divinity recipe in earnest.

Sugar, corn syrup, hot water, and salt.

See the sugar crystals forming on the side of the pan? You don’t want those. Crystals really like each other, and if there are crystals within reach of the sugar mixture, they’re all going to clump up and form a crunchy clique. This is not what we want for our divinity. That’s why they instruct you to stop stirring as soon as the sugar dissolves, and to take care of those unsightly crystals with a damp brush.

Aight?

This next part might be why my divinity tends not to work: I don’t have a candy thermometer. My fudge turns out great, though, and I can make hard candy. And other confections. So why does divinity hate me? Excuse that digression (and possible spoiler). Moving on…

Get a little sample of the mixture...

To test for “doneness,” you drop a bit of the syrup into a cup of cold water. This forces it to set up almost immediately. We were going for the hard ball stage.

Gooey. Not even at the soft ball stage yet.

Time passes…

Looking better.

It's standing up on its own!

Now that it’s nearly there, it’s time to start on the egg whites.

Mixing, mixing, mixing...

Stiff peaks!

Time to put it all together. You have to slowly pour the syrup in a thin stream. Otherwise, you’ll end up with scrambled eggs, which are fabulous. Just not for dessert.

Streaming patiently.

After we add all of that, it’s time for…

My favorite!

I don’t ever measure vanilla. I just pour until I can smell it. Then I mixed the divinity for a long time, until it cooled down somewhat.

I carefully poured the mixture out over the crushed M&Ms.

At this point, I was thinking, “This is not going to set up correctly. It’s too dang runny. The mixture started to spread, so I looked around for things to dam it in. You know what worked perfectly?

An Olivander's Wand Shoppe box. Don't tell Daphne. She would not approve. Note the nosey cat staring at the neighbor trying to walk his dog. And the Cake Wrecks book, also damming.

You know what this white pool of goo is missing? That’s right: chocolate.

Problem solved!

I wrapped it all up into a roughly-tube shape to put into the refrigerator. I didn’t like how runny it was, plus I saw a stinking cat hair in it! (I removed it once the stuff set up.)

When I removed it several hours later: 1) I realized that I should have greased the wax paper. It was a tasty, sticky mess. 2) It was too runny. 3) Did I mention that it was tasty? It’s really rather delicious. But it looks like this.

Goo in a box.

From the outside.

So. Another fail. Make no mistake: This WILL be eaten. However, I can’t take a big bag of goo to play practice tomorrow night. Even if everyone gets their own spoon, it’d be a mess. Guess we’ll try divinity another day. Any suggestions?

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